HTTYD News Weekly!
by Annabeth The Unicorn
Summary: All the updates on all things How To Train Your Dragon! From Toothless' dinner to new sequel info, this show- I mean fanfic- has it all! Starring Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III and his team of Dragon-riding teens!
1. Episode 1

A/N: Hello again, How to Train your dragon lovers everywhere! This is a little bit of unconventional random writing. As for those of you reading "My Point Exactly", I'm so sorry for not updating, but I really want to get the Movie scene right, so it's going to be a while. If any of you want to help me with it, I'd be much obliged.

Back to HTTYD. I was doing my weekly check-for-news-on-HTTYD-sequel, and I came up with a bunch of stuff, so I decided to write this.

There are a lot of 13 references in here, so if you maybe wanna watch my performance before reading this… I'd love you forever.

http: (Slash) (Slash) www (Dot) youtube (Dot) com (Slash) watch?v=ao9yuBnuzgw

And, yes, I do the opening. That is ME singing. I am an actual real person. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything!

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><p>[Crowd cheers as camera zooms in at HICCUP sitting at a desk dressed as a news anchor, ASTRID sits beside him]<p>

Hiccup: Hello, and welcome to HTTYD News Weekly! I'm Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III.

Astrid: And I'm Astrid Hofferson.

Hiccup: Today in Dragon news, Toothless ate a cucumber, and is still trying to get some cucumber skin out from between his teeth. I'd help, but honestly, those teeth scare me to Valhalla. Dad went out to buy Toothpicks, but Toothless just ignited them.

Astrid: Do they make good kindling?

Hiccup: Very much so.

Gobber: [from the audience] So Ironic, isn't it? Toothless getting stuff stuck in his teeth? Very appropriate name, Hiccup.

Hiccup: Hey, No comments from the peanut gallery!

Astrid: Wow, Hiccup, sounds like you and Toothless are in a pickle. [Crickets chirp, Hiccup stares at her] Get it? Cucumber… Pickle? Eh heh heh.

Hiccup: …Anyway, Over to Snotlout with the weather!

Astrid: A pickle is a brined Cucumber!

Hiccup: Astrid!

[Camera pans over to Snotlout, in front of a map of Berk, Hiccup appears in a rectangle in the upper-right corner of the screen]

Snotlout: Thanks, Hic!

Hiccup: So, Snotlout, do you think you can tell us the weather for the week?

Snotlout: Dude, I can tell you the weather for the year, and the one after that, and the one after that! Its going to Hail for three more months, and then its going to snow for nine. Hail, snow, hail, snow, hail, snow. [Tuffnut comes out of nowhere and starts beep-boxing under him, as Snotlout turns it into a rap] Hail, Snow, Hail, Ha-il, snow, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha -ha-hail, snooooooow! [Tuffnut exits]

Hiccup: Just for the week!

Snotlout: Word!

Hiccup: Snotlout!

Snotlout: Okay, okay, gods! [Turns to look at the map] Yup, we've got a bad storm coming in from the West, but after that some warm breezes from the south and oh! [Looks up at Hiccup in the box] A tiny nerd, coming in from the north!

Hiccup: [Rolling his eyes] Thank you, Snotlout! Now over to The twins with Sports!

Tuffnut: Hey, I'm Tuffnut Thorsten!

Ruffnut: And I'm Ruffnut Thorsten!

Tuffnut: And… Um… Wait, sports?

Ruffnut: We don't play any sports!

Tuffnut: Yeah, It shows, Fatso.

Ruffnut: Shut your mouth, Dipshi-

Hiccup: [Entering from the right] Does riding a dragon count as a sport?

Tuffnut: Alright, Hiccup, Whatever!

Ruffnut: Yes, yes, _Uno Foot-o_ over here beat all five of our butts in a Dragon race for the millionth time! Woopee!

Tuffnut: I came in second!

Snotlout: [Giggling and entering from the left] That's what she said.

Ruffnut: What are you talking about? I came in second!

Tuffnut: Nu uh!

Ruffnut: Yeah huh!

Astrid: [Entering from the right] You guys ride the same Dragon! Besides, I was the one who came in second.

Snotlout: Maybe so, but let's not forget who has the best dragon!

Hiccup: Me! [Makes a heart with his hands] Love you, Toothless!

Astrid/Snotlout/Ruffnut/Tuffnut: YOU DON'T COUNT!

[Stoick enters and glares at everyone, and they all go silent]

Stoick: This show is GOING TO THE DRAGONS! Get back to work!

All: Yes Sir!

Hiccup: And now over to our very own Fishlegs Ingerman, who was lucky enough to be able to attend the Annie Awards! Tell us all about it, Fish! [Camera pans over to Fishlegs, who is also at a desk]

Fishlegs: Well, Hiccup, How to Train Your Dragon Wins Annabeth The Unicorn's "Best Movie in the World award"! Also, We were on fire at the Annie Awards!

Astrid: Yeah?

Fishlegs: Yeah! We got nominated for Best Animated Television commercial, and we didn't win. But wait for it, we DID win: [Music plays]

_**Best Writing!**_

_**Best Storyboarding!**_

_**Best Production Design!**_

_**Best soundtrack!**_

_**Best Directing!**_

_**Best Character Design!**_

_**Best character Animation!**_

_**Best Animated effects!**_

_**And Finally, Best Animated feature!**_

[The crowd goes wild!]

Astrid: [Entering] You're forgetting one!

Fishlegs: Do you want to tell him?

Astrid: And Hiccup was voted as having the best voice ever!

[Jay Baruchel is at home, watching, thinking 'That kid seems familiar…']

Hiccup: [exited] seriously?

Snotlout: [from off-camera] it's nasally, but in an awesome way.

Hiccup: Huh. [Clears throat] Thank you for nothing, you useless reptile!

Fishlegs: Guys, let's get back on track, now, we need to tell them about the sequel!

Hiccup: Oh, right! [He and Astrid run back to desk]

Fishlegs: Back to you, Hiccup! [Camera pans over]

Hiccup: Thank you, Fishlegs! In other News, We've talked to Co-Director Dean DeBlois, and according to him, WE'VE GOT OURSELVES A TRILOGY!

Astrid: Calm down.

Hiccup: Okay.

Astrid: One movie at a time.

Hiccup: Right. (sniff) Back to the sequel. The release date is set for late 2013, early 2014.

Astrid: Yes, and I believe it was **Bonnie Arnold**, who said "It's going to be more fun adventures with Hiccup and Toothless. There will be some new dragons and maybe some new characters. It's the further adventures of Hiccup on his journey of **becoming a man** and the ultimate leader of the Viking clan."

Hiccup: Becoming a man?

Astrid: Uh oh, knowing this author- [Music plays]

Hiccup: _I'm becoming a man  
>I don't know what a man really means<br>The rule book grows, but no one knows  
>What all the rules allow<em>

Snotlout: [Entering] Isn't this from 13?

Fishlegs: NO! You said the name! Now we ALL have to sing!

All: _The best and the worst  
>And the most and the least<br>And the crazy and the scary  
>And I'm standing on the edge!<em>

Hiccup:  
><em>Twelve years old, everything that used to be as good as gold starts to crumble and crack<em>

Hiccup/Astrid/Snotlout:  
><em>Pressure mounts, once it was a joke, now it really counts and there's no turning back<br>_  
>All:<br>_Life goes wrong  
><em>  
>Tuffnut:<br>_Suddenly they're yelling cause your hair's too long  
><em>  
>Ruffnut:<br>_Or your room isn't clean  
><em>  
>All:<br>_Roll along  
><em>  
>Evan: [Appearing out of nowhere]<br>_Every conversation is another lost cause or a list of my flaws  
>And I'm just about to turn<em>

Hiccup/Astrid/Evan/Snotlout:

_Just about to Turn,_

All:

_God I'm gonna turn 13!_

[Snotlout takes an ax and cuts off Evan's head]

Snotlout: Shame, He stayed twelve. Now get back to the sequel.

Hiccup: Ooookay. Well, DeBlois also said, "I turned in the script before the holidays, and got some notes back and I'm working on a second draft! It's going to be quite epic. We are treating _How To Train Your Dragon_ as the first act in a much larger story. As we head into this one, the world expands. Everything is much bigger with still the heartfelt qualities that made the first one resonate so much with audiences. There are no longer restrictions to this tiny island in the North Sea. They have the entire Northern hemisphere within their grasp."

Astrid: Sounds Like we're gonna meet new friends, and new enemies! And go to strange places like- like sola sellew!

Hiccup: Do you think we'll meet Camicazi? Qille has told me all about her!

Astrid: I don't like her.

Hiccup: you haven't met her.

Astrid: She's your implied love interest in the books. I don't like her.

Snotlout: [From off-camera] What? Is someone a little jealous?

Tuffnut: [From off-camera] Wow, Astrid, jealous of a girl you've never met.

Ruffnut: [muttering] now you know my pain.

Tuffnut: What was that?

Ruffnut: Nothing!

Snotlout: well, you know Astrid, If Hiccup ever dumps you for this Camicazi chick, I'm always single!

Astrid: If Hiccup ever dumps me for that Camicazi chick, I'll leave pieces of that succubus all over The northern hemisphere.

Hiccup: Well, that's not gonna happen! Sorry Qille.

[Qille is at home, watching, thinking 'Darn!']

Astrid: better not.

Hiccup: BACK TO THE SEQUEL!

Astrid: It is indeed going to be Epic.

Hiccup: Very Epic.

Tuffnut: [from off-camera] It's gonna be Legit!

Snotlout: Hel yeah!

Hiccup: Well, thank you all for joining us for this episode of HTTYD News Weekly! See you next week for more… whatever the heck we do on this show.

All: Goodbye!

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><p>AN: LoL! Leave a review! Should I continue to do these weekly? Every Saturday maybe? I sure had fun writing it, and I hope you had fun reading!


	2. Episode 2

A/N: Alrighty, Folks! I've gotten a few reviews on this story, but not very many. Regardless, I'd written this chapter, so here it is for ya, hot off my laptop!

Disclaimer: I don't own HTTYD.

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><p>Announcer: Thanks to those of you who stuck around after 'Glee'! Because now it's time for HTTYD News weekly!<p>

[Camera zooms to Hiccup and Astrid, sitting at a News Anchor Desk]

Hiccup: Hello, I'm Hiccup Horrendous the Third!

Astrid: And I'm Astrid Hofferson. So, Hiccup, What's on the Agenda for today?

Hiccup: Well, we have a bunch of new segments we're introducing, Including Fishlegs' Segment on… Fanfiction Pairings, um… Toothless' 'Weekly Warble' It'll be nice to hear him talk, and Astrid with… 'What Pisses me off'.

Astrid: Sounds like we've got a great show lined up! Stick around Folks!

Hiccup: Yeah, First off, we have The new Segment on Pairings! Over to you Fishlegs!

[Camera Pans to the left]

Fishlegs: Thank you Hiccup! Now, as I'm sure you're all aware, Romance in most fandoms is not always strictly cannon, nor is this true for our very own the How To Train your Dragon fandom. So, I am here to bring to your attention the scandalous, Juicy—

Hiccup: Fishlegs!

Fishlegs: Sorry! Right well, Different Pairings. Here we go! The first pairing, and this is for all you Book readers at home, is one that takes us way back to the start of HTTYD, which, Bee Tee Dubs, originally did not involve the tinniest shred of romance. Which is why the Book people invented their own.

Our first pairing is, Drum roll please… Hiccazi!

Hiccup: What?

Astrid: **WHAT?**

[Camicazi walks in from off-stage and comes to sit in a chair in front of Fishlegs']

Fishlegs: Now, as the second part of this segment, we'll see what reactions the two Lovers—

Astrid: FISHLEGS!

Fishlegs: -React to the discovery of the pairing!

Camicazi: He's pretty Oz… For a Boy.

Fishlegs: Riiiiiight. And Hiccup?

Hiccup: [hiding under the desk] Hiccup has no comment at this time, leave a message after the beep!

Fishlegs: What do YOU think Audience? Should the Bog-Burglar and the Hooligan get together? Should—

Astrid: That's about enough of that segment! Don't you think Hiccup?

Hiccup: [Coming out from under the table] Yes ma'am!

Astrid: [Sulking] What's next?

Hiccup: Next we have Toothless' Weekly Warble! Over to you, Oh Mighty Night Fury!

[Camera Pans to Toothless, sitting behind a desk with his legs crossed, staring intently into the camera, he speaks with a thick English Accent]

Toothless: Hello Friends, Welcome to my segment of the show, 'The Weekly Warble'. Today I'll be discussing—

Hiccup: Whoa, whoa, hold on, wait a second, JUST A MOMENT!

Toothless: What is it, Human?

Hiccup: Why do you have an English Accent?

Toothless: Because Annabeth the Unicorn is a Whovian, and she feels like it. Now, back to the important stuff!

Hiccup: Wait, Toothless! What did you say? What do Unicorns have to do with anything?

Toothless: Not Unicorns! Annabeth the Unicorn! As in the Author!

Hiccup: What? I thought Cressida Cowell was the writer!

Toothless: Would Cressida Cowell write us doing a fake newscast and give me an English Accent?

Hiccup: What is with the accent?

Toothless: THE ALMIGHTY UNICORN GAVE ME THE POWER OF SPEECH, AND ALL SHE ASKED IN RETURN WAS THAT I TALKED LIKE THE DOCTOR! STOP ASKING QUESTIONS AND RUN FOR YOUR LIFE, THE DALEKS ARE COMEING!

Hiccup: The what?

Astrid: And that's about all the time we have for that! It's time for the next segment!

Toothless: But I haven't even started yet!

Astrid: Sorry, Toothless, Time's-a-wastin'!

Toothless: [Grumbles]

Hiccup: Up next we have Snotlout with the Weather!

[Camera Pan]

Snotlout: Hail, Snow, Hail, Sn—

Hiccup: No, seriously, this time!

Snotlout: FINE! We're looking at a bit of overcast until 2, which is when the rain will start. If you live by the docks, expect some flooding! And after the rain will come the Hail and the Snow! Hail, Snow, ha-ha-hail Snow!

Tuffnut: And the rain!

Snotlout: Word!

Hiccup: I'm so done with those idiots.

Astrid: [walking past him with an axe] just announce the next segment, I'll take care of them.

Hiccup: Up next we have the twins with—[screaming heard off-camera] – With new Sequel Info… Take it away, you guys!

Ruffnut: Hello, Berk! I'm Ruffnut Thorston!

Tuffnut: And I'm the much Better Looking Tuffnut Thorston.

Ruffnut: We're twins, idiot! Oh! But to all you Date-watchers out there, the Sequel is currently Scheduled for release on June 20, 2014!

Tuffnut: Anyway, although there is not much new info on the Sequel, This past November, Dreamworks released the all new DVD pack, complete with the animated shorts "Gift of the Night Fury"—

Ruffnut: A heartwarming holiday tale, or should I say tail.

Tuffnut: And "Book of Dragons"

Ruffnut: Which tells you everything you could ever possibly want to know about the Dragon book!

Tuffnut: Very true!

Ruffnut: Also released in November, Dreamworks launched the How To Train Your Dragon Online Dragon-Training game! Go check it out, y'all!

Tuffnut: Back to you, Hiccup!

[Camera Pan]

Hiccup: Thank you, Tuff! Our next section is Astrid with "What pisses me off"…

[Camera pans over to a cave full of skulls and an array of weapons, with a single chair in the center of it. The entire set is bathed in red light. Astrid looks up from the ground]

Astrid: When Swords aren't sharp enough to cut through the flesh of my enemies… That pisses me off.

[Camera pan back to Hiccup]

Hiccup: Thank you, Astrid! For blowing our entire budget on that set. The last part of our show, Is where I get to sit down and have a heart-to-heart with some of the very interesting people here in Berk. Our guest for tonight's interview is a refined member of our tribe, And my uncle, Spitelout!

[Spitelout enters and takes the seat opposite Hiccup]

Spitelout: Thank you, thank you, very nice to be here, very nice indeed!

Hiccup: So, Spite, I understand that you not only had a slight appearance in the Movie, but you also provided the narration AND different voices for the HTTYD audio recordings! What was it like seeing two completely different storylines and how they progressed?

Spitelout: I just like making voices.

Hiccup: …uh. Okay. [Flips notecards] Ah! Well, How does it feel to know that you've been a part of a legend that Vikings will pass down for ages?

Spitelout: [Clears throat] Good, It feels real good.

Hiccup: …Alright then. Um… [Looking through note-cards, tossing them aside] What… What's your favorite color?

Astrid: That's about enough of that! Thank you for that intellectual insight, Hiccup, But now I think its time to say goodnight to our viewers!

Hiccup: See you next time on HTTYD News Weekly!

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><p>AN: Poor Hiccup is the Kermit the Frog of this story. Bye!


	3. Episode 3

A/N: Here's another Chapter for you guys! I'm thinking I will try to update every Saturday!

Disclaimer: Is Hiccup a news anchor? Is Toothless lingual? Is this story remotely cannon? Do I own HTTYD? No, No, No, and No.

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><p>Announcer: Thank you all for choosing to watch this Sh*t instead of My Little Pony on channel eight. Oh man, now everypony's turning to channel Eight!<p>

[Camera Zoom to Hiccup and Astrid]

Hiccup: Hello Berk! I'm John Smith.

Astrid: And I'm Renezmee Swan.

Hiccup: Uh… My internal auto-incorret is asking if you mean 'Rename' Swan.

Astrid: God I hate Twilight.

Hiccup: Agreed.

Astrid: First up we have Fishlegs with his segment on Pairings. Don't screw it up this time, Legs.

Fishlegs: You got it, Astrid! For today's pairing, we have one of the most wrong, controversial Pairings on the FanFiction site. This pairing's supporters are few and far between, and many are known to keep their support of it a secret.

Astrid: Oh, this is gonna be good.

Hiccup: Actually…

Fishlegs: Toothcup!

Hiccup: (Hiding under the table) **#%&!**

Ruffnut: (Snickering) I always said they had bromance.

Astrid: I'm going to #$%ing kill you, Fish.

Fishlegs: Let's ask Hiccup how he feels about thi—

Hiccup: !

Fishlegs: Okay… And Toothless?

Toothless: …I'm just not sure about the whole inter-species thing.

Astrid: What?

Toothless: I mean, If I were a human, or he was a Night Fury…

Hiccup: AAAAAAHHHHH!

Fishlegs: So there IS chemistry between you!

Toothless: No, Legs. I was kidding… Idiot.

Fishlegs: Oh. Back to you, Astrid!

Hiccup: Glad that's over.

Astrid: Me too. Can I punch your dragon later?

Hiccup: Feel free.

Toothless: You'll have to catch me, first!

Hiccup: But before that, we have Toothless' Weekly Warble! Take it away!

Toothless: Thank you, Hiccup. Today our Subject is the many uses for a sonic screwdriver!

Hiccup: A what?

Toothless: Nevermind. Today's subject is Fish.

Astrid: Oh, here we go again!

Toothless: Most importantly, how there needs to be more of it. Except eel. There needs to be considerably less eel. But really, if we could just supply the dragons of Berk with more fish, it would improve behavior substantially! So, to achieve this goal, send all your Cod to me, Toothless the Dragon, and I will distribute it evenly among the dragons.

Hiccup: And?

Toothless: And I'll be taking a One Hundred Percent delivery Fee!

Hiccup: Ooooookay.

Astrid: Thank you, Toothless.

Hiccup: Now over to Snotlout with the weather.

Snotlout: Well, winter is nearly over, so I thought I'd get right to the forecast so that I could go out and enjoy all five minutes of spring and summer before it starts pouring again. Today we're looking at Cold weather. That's right; it's cold out, so I like to go out for some really big sandwiches… It must be the subs-hero temperature.

Hiccup: (Sarcastically) Ha Ha, That's Hilarious.

Snotlout: Alright, but seriously. You can tell when winter hits hard: look at all the black eyes on the roadway.

Astrid: I sure hope he doesn't die on an overdose of pun.

Snotlout: As the winter snow turned into rain, Frosty began to realize that fame was sleeting.

Hiccup: Okay, that's it! No more from you!

Astrid: Thank you.L

Hiccup: Up next we have the Twins with HTTYD current production info!

Tuffnut: Thank you Hiccup, So today we will be telling you about the How To Train Your Dragon Arena Spectacular!

Ruffnut: From the creators of "Walking with the Dinosaurs," This incredible event Features real, flying, life-sized, robotic Dragon replicas to retell the story of How to Train Your Dragon like you've never seen before!

Tuffnut: It's being released in May 2012 in Australia from the 2nd to the 11th in the Hisence arena!

Ruffnut: And it will reach America in June. Dates to be announced!

Tuffnut: For all the things on all things HTTYD, this is…

Ruffnut: Dragon 365!

[Awkward Pause]

Hiccup: …Um, okay. And now Astrid with "What Pisses me Off".

[Camera pans over to a dark room full of unidentifiable Objects, Astrid turns on a flashlight and points it at her face, scary story style.]

Astrid: When your hair get really tangle… That pisses me off.

Hiccup: …And on that note, It's time to introduce the Serious part of the show, where I get to chat a bit with an intellectual from the Village! Today I will be interviewing… (Reads name off the card) Stoick… Oh gods.

[Stoick comes and sits across from Hiccup]

Hiccup: Hi, dad.

Stoick: Hello…

[Long awkward Pause]

Stoick: So, who watches this show?

Hiccup: …Well, you do. And we do when we get home…

Stoick: Yeah, but… Who else?

Hiccup: I'm not sure…

Stoick: Oh.

[Pause]

Astrid: [To Snotlout, Tuffnut, Ruffnut, Fishlegs, and Toothless] They never did have anything to talk about.

Stoick: Don't you have Pre-written questions or something?

Hiccup: Yeah, sure. [Takes out a notecard] So, what are your feelings concerning the Battle with the Green Death?

Stoick: Any others?

Hiccup: No.

Stoick: But—

Hiccup: Da-ad!

Stoick: Fine, I was really Scared.

Hiccup: …That it?

Stoick: Yes.

Hiccup: Okay.

Stoick: If it's all the same to you, I have chiefly things to go do… so…

Hiccup: Right, Right! Of course, you're probably very busy! Bye dad! [Stoick exits]

Astrid: Okay and that just about concludes this week's episode of…

Hiccup: My line. That's my line.

Astrid: Oh, sorry.

Hiccup: Hows about we say it together?

Astrid: Okay, on three.

Hiccup: One… Two… Three!

Together: Thank you for joining us for another episode of How To Train your Dragon News Weekly!

Astrid: Nice.

Hiccup: Yup.

Snotlout: Puns about winter are snow joke!

Ruffnut: Oh, gods.

Hiccup: Cute. It's a cute show.

* * *

><p>AN: I know I know, It wasn't up by Saturday, but a whole bunch of stuff came up! Oh well, It's up now! Okay, so in your review, please answer the Following questions!

Which is your favorite segment?

Who should Hiccup interview next?

What Pairing would you like to see Fishlegs Cover?

What do you think of Toothless' English accent?

What Weather should Berk have next?

Thank you, and see you next week! (:


	4. Episode 4

A/N: So, I'm thinking Sunday will be the regular update day. That good for you guys? Cool beans.

* * *

><p>Announcer: Welcome to… Wait, this isn't Disney channel! What have I done with my life?<p>

[Camera Zoom, Astrid is alone behind the newscaster's desk]

Astrid: Uh… Welcome to… HTTYD News Weekly… Um…

Stoick: [Entering] Stop! Where's Hiccup?

[Silence]

Stoick: [Nearing Snotlout] Well?

Snotlout: [Nervously] ASTRID KNOWS! [Covers mouth]

Astrid: SNOTLOUT!

Stoick: [Walking back to Astrid]Astrid, Answer the question. Where. Is. Hiccup?

Astrid: Uh… You see, Chief… He couldn't make it to the show today…

Stoick: And why not?

Astrid: Because… Because… [Stoick gives her the glare] BECAUSE TOOTHLESS IS MISSING AND HE'S TOTALLY FREAKING OUT! [Grabbing Stoick's shoulders] FREAKING OUT I TELL YOU!

Stoick: Toothless is missing?

Astrid: Yeah! English accent and all!

Stoick: Well, go find him, and bring him here!

Astrid: Right, Chief! Dead or Alive! [Exits]

Stoick: No, no, Alive.

Astrid: [From off screen] DEAD OR ALIVE!

Stoick: Oh no.

Fishlegs: [Entering the shot] What? We can't have the show without Hiccup!

Tuffnut: [Entering with Ruffnut] Yeah! Without him, the entire show will be much too chaotic!

Ruffnut: Who will tell me to stop kicking my brother's butt?

Tuffnut: Hey! I kick YOUR butt!

Ruffnut: Sure you do, buddy. Sure you do.

Tuffnut: What's wrong with you?

Ruffnut: I'm too worried to argue.

Snotlout: Somebody get her to the hospital!

Stoick: Will everybody just please calm down! Astrid will be back soon, and then the show will continue just as sub-par as usual.

[Crashing and yelling from offstage, and then Astrid enters the shot, dragging Hiccup by his collar, who is digging his feet into the ground]

Astrid: Got him!

Hiccup: Let go. Let go. Let go.

Astrid: Sure. [Hiccup falls to the floor]

Hiccup: Thanks. [stands up, makes a run for it, Astrid grabs his shirt again] FINE! Fine, you win!

Snotlout: Did you find Toothless?

Hiccup: WAHHH! [Falls on the floor again]

Astrid: Nice, Snotlout.

Snotlout: I'm sorry! I was just curious.

Astrid: Hiccup?

Hiccup: [Standing up] what?

Astrid: I understand what you're going through, [Leads him to the anchor chair] But we need to do the show now…

Hiccup: Astrid, We've had this discussion. I love you, but Toothless comes first. Always.

Fishlegs: Do I hear ToothCup, anybody? [A book hits him in the head]

Snotlout: Nice shot, Astrid!

Astrid: That… wasn't me.

Stoick: Okay, Who threw that!

[Hiccup raises his hand]

Snotlout: Wow, he is violent when upset.

Hiccup: I destroyed a dragon the size of a mountain. I'm not afraid to throw a book.

Stoick: That's my boy! Alright, now that everybody's here, let's get this show back on the road!

Hiccup: But everybody isn't here!

Astrid: On with the show! Up first we have Fishlegs with his segment on pairings!

[Camera pan]

Fishlegs: [A bit out of hit, with a big bruise on his head] The pairing we'll be looking at today is Ruffcup. A surprising amount of people are openly fans of this pairing. Many stories which focus on this pairing are really well-written with good plot lines… and personally I find it revolting.

Ruffnut: What?

Astrid: Whatever, Ruffnut wouldn't steal my Boyfriend.

Fishlegs: Really? Because I wouldn't be doing this pairing if Ruffnut hadn't requested-

Ruffnut: THAT HE DO A PAIRING THAT INCLUDED ME!

Astrid: Oh, okay.

Ruffnut: [Nervously] AHAHAHAHAHA!

Fishlegs: Well, how does Hiccup feel about this?

Hiccup: Hey Fish, If Ruff wants to do a pairing with her in it, and I DON'T, I had an idea.

Fishlegs: Uh… Not intere-

Hiccup: I just happened to notice that you've been ignoring one of the most well-supported side pairing.

Fishlegs: I don't want to hear-

Hiccup: Oh you don't? But don't you want the viewers to be informed?

Fishlegs: No! I mean yes! I mean-

Hiccup: Next week, you should do RUFFLEGS!

Fishlegs: NO! [Hides under desk]

Astrid: I think we're dealing with dark Hiccup today.

Hiccup: He deserved it.

Astrid: Next up we have… Uh… (Mumble mumble mumble)

Hiccup: What's that, Astrid?

Astrid: I said, uh… tthleswekleewrbl

Hiccup: I don't understand you.

Astrid: Um… [Whispering] Toothless'weeklywarble.

Hiccup: Still can't hear you!

Astrid: Snotlout with the weather!

Hiccup: Oh, okay. I was thinking we'd film it outside today.

Astrid: Why is that?

Hiccup: Because it's more professional.

Astrid: But why today?

Hiccup: You'll see. [Camera pan to a screen of Snotlout standing outside with an umbrella, rain is pouring down, and he's shivering]

Snotlout: T-today we have wind speeds of close to five million miles-per-Snotlout-Time, and about six thousand inches of rain. [His umbrella fly's away] I AM IN HELL!

[Pan back]

Hiccup: LoL.

Astrid: I honestly fear for our lives.

Hiccup: Next we have the twins with HTTYD Info!

[Camera pan]

Ruffnut: Although there isn't much more information about the sequel as of recently, we thought we'd go into a little more detail about the TV show out sometime this year!

Tuffnut: The producer of this show will be Tim Johnson, and it will be directed by Dean DeBlois.

Ruffnut: We'd like to thank all the HTTYD fans who are still with us after just short of two years of waiting for the television show!

Tuffnut: From all of us to you, Thank you!

Ruffnut: Especially because in the words of our wonderful director, _"It's going to be quite epic."_

Tuffnut: See you soon on Cartoon Network!

[Pan to Astrid, who is sitting in the middle of a field with blood-stained grass]

Astrid: When Toothless goes missing, that pisses me off.

[Pan to Hiccup]

Hiccup: Well, this is the intellectual part of the show where I interview somebody from the village, the only problem is that none of them are intellectual, so I'm just going to go sulk for a bit—

Toothless: [entering the shot] Okay, when do we start the show?

All: TOOTHLESS?

Toothless: What? You look as if you've seen a ghost.

[Everyone runs towards Toothless and hug him]

Hiccup: NEVER LEAVE ME AGAIN!

Everybody else: Never leave him again!

Toothless: What's going on?

Astrid: You went missing! That's what's going on!

Tuffnut: Yeah, and Hiccup went all Emo!

Fishlegs: And flying books!

Snotlout: And pouring rain!

Ruffnut: And awful pairings!

Toothless: Huh? But it's Two-O'-Clock! Isn't that when we start rehearsing for the show?

Astrid: You mean you didn't get the memo? We stated early this week.

Toothless: Oh.

Snotlout: Are you saying that we got put through hell… because the Night Fury didn't know when we were starting final dress rehearsal?

Toothless: Oops?

[Snotlout glares]

Hiccup: I'm so happy! I could sing!

Astrid: Oh please don't.

Hiccup: _Everything is great_

_Everything is grand_

_I got the whole wide world in the palm of my hand!_

Snotlout: Oh, gods.

Hiccup: _Life's a happy song, when there's someone by my side to sing along!_

Astrid: Thank you for joining us for another episode of HTTYD News Weekly!

Hiccup: _I've got everything that I need – right in front of me_

_Nothing's stopping me_

_Nothing that I can't be_

_With you right here next to me!_

All: _Life's a happy song, when there's someone by your side to sing along!_

* * *

><p>AN: Shout out to those who are still part of the best fandom ever after so long a wait! We're almost at the TV show guys! It's here this year!


End file.
